...

He has definately gone to be a better place... but till now i still cant accept the fact that he is not here anymore..to tell me stories about his life since he was small or even play with us anymore.. ever.... it is jus so hard seeing other ppl having fun with their families.. i still miss him very very much.. y sad things have to happen to me..if i have ever made anyone sad punish it on me.. dont punish on someone dat i truly love and care..i jus cuden believe that this is happening.. it has been 8 months since he has gone to a better place... but sometimes i wonder.. is der really such thing as heaven.. if yes.. if he is at heaven.. will he be watching over me from up der and making sure that im alright?? Does God has other plans for him so dats y he needs to leave us so early??=(

i tot i was gonna be ok after a period of time.. but i started thinking about him very often these few days.. it hurts me seeing him go away jus like dat without leaving any messages to us.. it hurts thinking back that we all were not der with him when he had his last breathe.. it hurts so much..=(..

i feel so sad know.. i do not know whether will i b as hyper as i used to be last time anymore..it hits me so hard that it takes so long for me to stand on the ground back.. i may seem happy in the outside but in the inside of me.. i m crying my heart out hoping dat all this was jus a dream and when i wake up i can hear him calling me to go downstairs and drink the orange juice dat he make for me every morning...=(

its jus so hard...

=(