Tuesday, March 31, 2009


haih..ive jus received a document sent by my sister..the power of attorney document..haih...when i saw da part which stated da date of my dad's passing..i really felt like crying...seriously till now i still cant accept da fact dat he has already gone...i dunno how long will this takes..i cry to sleep almost every night u know..thinking y didnt i do something to prevent that particular incident from happening..i dunno how to move on seriously...yes, to tell u da truth..it is actually affecting my studies real bad...( dad pliz dont b sad reading this...ill b on track soon..ill try not to let this affect me cuz i know u wan me to do my best and not let anything affect me...)..and im cring now..i jus cant stand it la...

really gonna sleep now

good night di..


p/s: eh i was too mad la jus now dats why i typed everything out but i really dont blame u at all la nick for taking my fried rice cuz u really dunno whose want was dat belong to ma and u tot was belong to the ah kungs wan ma..so dont feel guilty k..instead i shud thank u for finishing it for me cuz seriously..not nice at alll..i dunno how to u can tahan eating..haha..seriously..dont feel guilty k..i dont blame u at all..DONT BE K>>=)

gonna sleep now...=)..

yeah..who cares whos da juice stealer is..karma will pay him or her back sooner or later...=)

good night daddy..=)

Monday, March 30, 2009


oh my god!!

im so bengang today!!!...
someone took my new bottle juice and drink it..and now left half only!!..wth..

ok here how we actually found out..bi and me decided to put a mark everytime right after we drink our juice..jus incase la..u know..if ppl come and drink..dat was last night.
this morning..i was happily walking to da fridge with bi for my orange mango juice...and omg!!...someone actually went and took our juice from out other bottle..and its not open bfor wan ok wth!!!.....we got out our both names der big big some more okay!..wth!! damm pissing offfffff!! wan to take oso take la from da one already open right?????smart a bit la if wanna curi!..this wat happened when u stay with ppl dat u know...they tend to take things for granted..wth..jus cuz u know me, i know u.. so dat means u can simply take and drink is it??? da part dat i dont undertsand is...omg...da bottle is new wan k!! meaning nobody open it bfor!!..meaning either me or bi havent rasmikan yet ok!!!and our both name written on it some more and i purposely write big big ok!!!..and u dare to drink it from der some more! wth!!..damm pising off.. is not dat ur parents never give u money right to spend it here???? y must u take other ppls drink?? wth!! im so moving out wei after this sem..i rather stay with ppl dat i dunno...cuz da most they take oso proly utensils...omg..had enuf wei....dat day was my fried rice..dat i dont mind la cuz my fren doesnt know...arggghhh...watever la...damm pissing offf...now everybody said no ok!!! omg!!!...

Friday, March 20, 2009


im so so down now...='(


Wednesday, March 18, 2009


u know wat makes me feel better??

listen to this song, always by your side by sheryl crow and sting...=)

go down load and listen!!


pliz help and guide me to have the courage to stand back to move forward as there is a life ahead of me..im so down now..i wake up with a sad feeling every morning..i do not know wat else to do..i missed him so much..i still cant accept da fact dat this is how our life is gonna b without him..every morning i tell myself dat i must b happy but towards d end of the day i still feel sad..=((

i woke up very early today..around 9 plus..he was da first thing dat crossed my mind when i woke up..=((..i force myself to sleep back till 12..my head is so pain now..i dunno how to not think dat he has gone..=(..bsides i miss my family so so much..i damm emo la..i dunno wat else to blog now bsides blogging bout how depress i am right now..


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

spot the diff...

this was taken bfor we got together...

this is now...hahaa


haha..anyways..gotta go..=(


sometimes thing r easier said den done...
ppl come telling me dat to b strong and tough and show him dat i can b happy even when he is not around..i do appreciate wat they told me ..but it seems hard for me to try to do it..im a very stubborn gal..i sometimes want things my way..eh...most of the times..haha..i wonder how bi can able to stand me..but i do give in sometimes k...=p..

so anyways..having to live d way things r now is gonna b tough..where ever i go..ill think of him...yea..of cuz u cant jus forget bout him but when u come to think back of the things dat we did together last time..it really makes me sad..things r really diff now tho i kept telling my self dat things will come back to normal and perharps i shall jus assume dat he is till in Indonesia working der...=P..mum and sis r now at Indonesia..settling dad's stuff there..haih...its really sad seeing my mummy cried dat day..we lost a dad;someone who we can count on when we need advices and all; but mum, she lost her life time partner..i tried to b strong when i was back in Malaysia, trying not to cry in front of my mum cuz i know she will b even more sad as she has no one to go holidays with, no one to talk to her on da bed bfor she sleeps, no one to go walk walk with when the kids r not at home..=(..

seriously i dunno how long im gonna post bout this la..im sorry guys..i jus need to let it out cuz i wil feel less sad and fell better..i rather post it out here den talking to da toilet bowl and flush it all out kan??...

-cHing mEi-

Saturday, March 14, 2009


hey..m not in da mood to blog today..a lot of stuffs r going on my mind and i cant seem to get it out fom my head..gonna sleep now eventhough i jus woke up only...night..

Thursday, March 12, 2009


i do not want to keep feeling sad or down for losing one of the most important person in my life as it is affecting me real bad...i cant seem to b concentrating in classes even when im suppose to..i promise him that i will study my arse off to come back with that cert and show it to him..i may look ok from the outside but the inside of me really hits me so hard that it takes me so long for me to stand back on the ground..y sad things must happen to me..is it because ive done something bad bfor and since god still has mercy for me so he hits it on someone dat i love n care so much???..for da past few days i tried so hard to keep myself busy but the thing jus keep coming to me..i blame myself for da cause of his death..i should jus give dat basket da money instead of him asking from dad..he jus loves taking advantage on dad when dad is not feeling well..i hate him for doing dat..he sacrifices so much for us..he rather stay in indonesia and work hard jus to see a smile on each of our faces;dat cute lil smile dat he alwyas gets after he gets back from work when we were still a lil gal..i miss his smile so much. i wan him so badly..dad always ask us to b greatful for everything dat we hav now..i guess im not grateful enuf..i know its imposibble to see him again..but his memories with all of us willl b kept in my heart; the way he smiles, the way he walks, wat he usualy brings when we go for outing; a packet of tissues, his ipod and a bottle of water..i jus hate da feeling now...a family consists of dad mum and da siblings.. and i guess things r diff now.. n it wun b perfect anymore..cuz it seems dat everything that we r about to do in da mere future will b diff..we will smile when we r happy but sad at da same time as he cant b doing it with us..ders so many places dat he wanted to go somemore..omg..my teras r falling now..i dunno how long will this affect me but i hope at da same time he will b der for me emotionally tru da hard times..love u di....so so much....=)

Monday, March 2, 2009



im so blur!!!

i dont understand wat is he talking about!!
im now at LAB for finance analysis class..i dont understand la when it comes to excelllll!!!1
im so blur..first classs is so important wei....omg...